Saturday morning and Vlad the Submersible is atop Wasilei the Whale, training his fleet of nuclear boomers under the Baltic Sea. It is not commonly known in the West that Vlad can breathe underwater, he has gills behind his ears like Kevin Costner's character in that really shit film from the 90s. Vlad asked me to assure everyone that he has no desire to blow you all up and you are more likely to meet your doom at the hands of demented old pants-shitter in the White House, or for that matter the bat-shit crazy warmongering loon now in 10 Downing Street